{balancing}

So lately I've been feeling a little "out-of-balance" in my life somewhat.. some things going really well, others not well at all. Sometimes I'm just thinking I need to do a little "soul-searching" to find where I'm really at. This morning, I got an email from Jenny Phillips that really got me thinking.. the email contained the following little story:

"My husband and I had planned our trip to Brazil for months. On the day of our departure, we packed up our kids and drove them to my mom's house. We said our goodbyes and went to the airport where we unloaded all of our flight cases full of sound equipment. After standing in the long line, we finally got up to the ticket counter. "Can I see your visa?" the man at the counter asked. My heart dropped. I had been to 27 countries and had never needed a visa. When I told them man that I didn't know I needed a visa, he said, "Didn't you read all the emails Delta sent you about getting a visa?" My heart dropped again. I had been too busy to read the emails Delta had sent me titled "Important Information about Your Flight." I figured I already knew all I needed to know about that flight. I was bugged by all the emails they were sending me. To make a long story short, we couldn't get on the plane. I had to call the leaders in Rio with the distressing news. I wouldn't be arriving that night for the fireside.

The feeling I had was absolutely terrible. I didn't have what was required to go where I had planned on going. The experience made me think of the day I will arrive, not at a ticket counter, but at the judgment bar. The "visa" I will need to present will be a life lived with "valiant" faith. Having lived good and "honorable" will not be enough. I can't imagine not having what I need on that day. I can't imagine the Lord saying: "Didn't you hear and heed those messages I sent you about what you needed to do for exaltation?" I do not want to reply: "I was too busy."

The thing is, I got to reschedule my trip to Rio after getting a visa. But if I pass through this life without living "valiantly," I won't be able to reschedule my life and try again. Ezra Taft Benson said: "Not to be valiant in one's testimony is a tragedy of eternal consequence." (Ensign, May 1982, p. 63).

Can you not feel Nephi's words: "But wo unto him that hath the law given . . . and that wasteth the days of his probation." (2 Nephi 6)

So how do you rate your life right now at this moment?
A) Valiant B) Honorable and clean but not valiant C) Dishonorable and unclean?

These categories represent the following:
A) Celestial Kingdom B) Terrestrial Kingdom C) Telestial Kingdom

It's so important that we are constantly evaluating the way we are living. Consider this guideline from the Strength of Youth Pamphlet:

1) "Do not attend, view, or participate in entertainment that is vulgar, immoral, violent, or pornographic in any way. Do not participate in entertainment that in any way presents immorality or violent behavior as acceptable." How are you living this?
A. Valiantly B. Honorably C. Dishonorably

2)How would you rate yourself as having consistent and meaningful scripture study?
A. Valiantly B. Honorably C. Dishonorably

3. How are you doing your at you visiting/home teaching and other callings?
A. Valiantly B. Honorably C. Dishonorably

4. How hard are you working on gaining attributes of charity such as not being easily provoked, being kind, and seeking not your own?
A. Valiantly B. Honorably C. Dishonorably"

I've really been thinking the last couple of hours that my being "valiant" needs some work. I could do better.. much better. I've been slipping in the spiritual department a little. I've gotten in a rut, I guess. I'm going through the motions, and I'm doing my calling, attending my meetings, and doing what's expected of me. But I'm not stretching like I should, pushing myself to do more.. better. I'm taking the easy way.. doing the easier things as opposed to those things that may be a little harder. I've received this message in subtle ways more than once this week. It seems somebody is trying to tell me something. I better start choosing harder things.. strengthening my spirit.. preparing myself a little better. There's more to be learned. Ill be first to admit that I have many weaknesses to improve, areas to strengthen. Living good and honorable might not be enough. I need to stretch out of my comfort zone. Here's a little motivating thought from a blog that I read that may help me get going..

"I'm human. You're human. We are all tying to make something out of the life we were given, which is completely and beautifully imperfect. I think sometimes we forget how alike we all are. We look at someone and believe them to be better than us or that they've got it all together. No. I disagree. I don't believe anyone is better than us, you or me, rather we are all in different stages of our life. Some have progressed a bit further, faster. Some of us are slow. We are all moving at different speeds, with different terrains, experiencing different obstacles."

Isn't that inspiring? It's not just me.. we all have work to do. We're just at different stages.. working at different speeds. Love that.